Were she still alive, my mother would have been 99 years old today. She died in 2007. I’ve been thinking about her a lot lately.
My mom was a first generation American, born to Italian parents, and raised in the Italian ghetto in Washington, DC. She achieved much in her life. From a poor upbringing she went to secretarial school and on to a much decorated career as an administrative assistant in the Army Corps of Engineers. She survived the Great Depression and World War II, the social upheaval of the sixties and seventies, and the terrifying beginnings of the 21st Century. She and my father built a home in the suburbs and raised their four children there. They retired comfortably. They travelled frequently to see their children and grandchildren, and to Italy to see Mom’s family and other far flung destinations. She had come a long way from Morse Street in NE Washington.
But my mother was never the easiest person to satisfy. I think it is part of the immigrant DNA to always strive for more, for both her and her children. As she aged, becoming more infirm, and often alone, her oft-repeated refrain was, “Where are the Golden Years?”
How does one answer that question from one’s own mother? To me, it seemed she had achieved a lot, done more than she ever dreamed of doing as a young woman of nineteen. Why would you want more?
I don’t put much stock in Hallmark holidays or catchy phrases, so the idea of Golden Years kind of washes over me. I’ve always thought you just lived your life until you didn’t. Yes, I expect to slow down as I age, travel more, visit and walk, and not worry so much about stuff - money, children, drama. But as for some kind of golden light illuminating my life after age 65 that grants entrance into some entitled senior enclave - I don’t think so.
So, now, firmly entrenched in my Golden Years, I’m still working, traveling to see the children, friends, family, and faraway places, and looking forward to more of it. I move more slowly and deliberately.
But suddenly, we (all of us) find ourselves in the midst of a game changing event - something, be we young or old - that will irrevocably mark the rest of our lives. We hear, “Stay At Home. Wear Masks Outside. Avoid Travel. Keep Six Foot Distance.” Let us hope this event doesn’t erase the memory of Golden Years, however illusory that memory may be.
